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Channel: DW » Topic: starting to date again and body/self image issues
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Reply To: starting to date again and body/self image issues

I’ll second, third and fourth doing a beauty day. I was going to write something about that in my original post. I don’t know what it is about having a girly day and getting a haircut or color or...

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Reply To: starting to date again and body/self image issues

@findingtheearth I was totally the person in college that rolled out in sweatpants and then was surprised when i never got dates. And my college roomates are the ones that taught me how to use makeup,...

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Reply To: starting to date again and body/self image issues

@findingtheearth, I’ll be glad to help if I can.  I did the same 2 years ago after getting out of a long relationship that messed up my head.  I read a million things on the topic, as well as...

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Reply To: starting to date again and body/self image issues

I agree on the clothes issue- growing up my mom never really taught me anything about makeup, appearance, etc.  A friend of mine in college took me shopping and taught me some of the basics and told...

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Reply To: starting to date again and body/self image issues

Agree!  And it’s not vanity, I don’t think.  To me, part of it is if you’re doing those things for yourself, then you’re treating yourself as though you matter, you’re worth it.  And I think it sends...

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Reply To: starting to date again and body/self image issues

@Kate @Copa, I totally agree! One of the things I did after the breakup was go out and buy a few new outfits and pairs of jeans (for retail therapy, and also to have some clothes that looked good on...

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Reply To: starting to date again and body/self image issues

I agree about “putting yourself together” in a certain way. A great haircut can do wonders for your appearance. I also think everyone should have at least one pair of “nice jeans” that you can dress...

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Reply To: starting to date again and body/self image issues

Well, then, yeah, really it just comes down to making the most of your unique appearance; acting like you think a woman with self-confidence and high self-worth would act, and when you feel...

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Reply To: starting to date again and body/self image issues

That’s what I’m working on, just loving me for me, not based on some standard of beauty. I just wanted to work on my self confidence, that was the purpose of reaching out for advice.

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Reply To: starting to date again and body/self image issues

WFS, absolutely. you are you. find a way to love yourself/your body/your face/ect for just being YOU, not because you look the most like the doctored pictures on magazines. the market-manufactured...

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Reply To: starting to date again and body/self image issues

Yeah Fabelle, that’s what I was trying to say.  People need to let go of this marketing-manufactured false need to feel beautiful.  It’s just not necessary.  And sorry, Veritek, didn’t mean to imply...

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Reply To: starting to date again and body/self image issues

It may help to realize that your ex probably didn’t break up because you weren’t beautiful. He was telling  you that you are beautiful because you are and broke up over other issues. If he didn’t like...

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Reply To: starting to date again and body/self image issues

Yeah, WKS about this: “the guys who message you online and tell you you’re gorgeous, sexy, beautiful, etc., are not the guys you want to go out with” I totally agree^ so the first thing I’ll tell you...

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Reply To: starting to date again and body/self image issues

@Kate, with all due respect, and I see where you’re coming from, but being beautiful (or having people think I’m beautiful) is not my most pressing issue. It’s just one element of it all, and the one...

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Reply To: starting to date again and body/self image issues

To echo what others have said, congrats on the weight loss, and don’t underestimate the power of “fake it til you make it.”  I apply that principle all the time.  Also, another great antidote to...

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Reply To: starting to date again and body/self image issues

@landygirl I’m in counseling. I’ve been going since January. Trust me, I’m working on myself, and I’m in a far, far better place than I was three months ago. @liquidluck My counselor actually...

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Reply To: starting to date again and body/self image issues

I think some (probably not all) self-esteem issues can be fixed with a “fake it ’til ya make it” approach. For online dating, I’d also recommend ignoring the “hey sexy” emails. In person, I think it...

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Reply To: starting to date again and body/self image issues

I’m with gatecrashergirl.  Ignore the “hey sexy!” emails.  Hold off until you can tell someone legit wants to get to know you and it’s obvious they read your profile.  I’m in a location where there...

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Reply To: starting to date again and body/self image issues

This may not work for everyone (and it isn’t a quick fix), but I literally talked my way into having self-confidence. I just told myself everyday that I was awesome and acted like I was, and...

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Reply To: starting to date again and body/self image issues

Oh and yeah, if anyone ever hit on me by saying, “you’re so sexy” I would puke.  That is the opposite of how I would like to be approached.

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